It is always hard to start doing something new, to begin something different.

And it is even harder to keep up with what you are doing day after day.

I hate my Gemini characteristic although it is pretty cool to be an unstable, changeable and interesting person. People say Gemini can talk a lot, about anything, with anyone, at anytime when they are awake. It sounds like I could become a talking machine, and I also want to be one.

But that’s not the real world. Reality invariably appears to be immensely disparate from theory (we could say “what people expect”).

I love talking, but not with anyone. And if I find someone who is on the “same frequency” with me, it would be the best days ever in my life. Such a marvelous sensation to talk without thinking, to meet new lovely people, to see different aspects in their life and to compare these things with your own life.

The sad thing is it is not always easy to keep talking with the same person everyday. You may get bored or they feel fed up with you. 

At this stage, the conversation becomes awkward, silence usually turns up, making both people feel uncomfortable.

What am I supposed to do now? I still have so many things to say although I haven’t known what they are yet. It is the feeling of desperately want to do something but you cannot. The feeling of bashing your head against the wall over and over again, so many times. What you gain later is an injured head and nothing else, nothing better.